Listening to others as key to community
By nature humans are tribal. Throughout history, being popular was more important than being accurate. Being popular allows you to be safe with a tribe and being right by holding an unpopular idea can cost you that safety. Tribal instincts can cause us to fight people rather than challenge ideas.
It takes time and effort to deliberately go against the natural grain in order to bring out the best in a team.
Hanlon’s Razor: We often attribute friction to malice or disrespect rather than misunderstanding. In reality, most disputes arise from incomplete information or a lack of perspective.
Believe the best: Believing the best of others intentions allows one to discover the missing piece of information in order to resolve the situation.
Self-worth: Separate your ideas from your self-worth. The ability to take criticism quietly without lashing back is critical to personal growth.
Idea detachment: Individuals are not their ideas. When self-worth is wrapped up in a suggestion, criticism triggers a fight response. Resisting the urge to lash out is necessary for maturity.
No division: Taking division off the table in every discussion is like a married couple deciding that divorce is not an option. Any team willing to succeed has to view themselves on one side of the table and the obstacle at hand on the other.