The tradition of doing hard things ⭕

Agora strongly believes that embracing the friction that comes with progress is essential to flourishing civilization.

Healthy friction

Today's society often derides life’s healthy friction. Too often is challenge interpreted as trauma and stress as distress.

Society normalizes this by:

• Criticizing the mistakes of those who succeed

• Valuing safety over accomplishment

• Interpreting hardship as trauma

• Taking refuge behind popular causes/groupthink

• Valuing lives of “personal happiness” over sacrificial impact

• Overindulgence in consumerism (doom scrolling, junk food binging, etc.)

Example of stress

When a person is stressed, they have the option to interpret that stress positively or negatively. Studies show that how they interpret stress can lead to that stress either becoming eustress (helpful) vs distress (unhelpful).

Eustress is stress interpreted as a challenge. The body activates, heart rate rises, attention narrows, energy mobilizes. However, the challenge at hand is seen to be manageable. Something that can be controlled. And the stress gets aimed at performance.

Distress is stress interpreted as a threat. The body activates the same basic systems, but the mind adds danger, helplessness, or depletion. Distress leads to negative feelings like anxiety, fear, and helplessness. The stress response impairs performance and decreases focus.

The reframing of stress as either eustress or distress can wildly impact the outcome. This distinction represents a critical skill: the ability to consciously reframe a stressor from an overwhelming threat into a manageable challenge increasing performance.

Building stress tolerance

Stress tolerance is not simply a static trait but a capacity that can be developed through action. Research shows that resilience is built by intentionally engaging with manageable stressors, acting much like a vaccine.

By successfully navigating challenges, a person trains their physiological and psychological responses, reinforcing a sense of control that fundamentally alters how future stress is approached.

Traditions of stress tolerance

As a community that celebrates impact we maintain several traditions that help build our tolerance to stress.

These traditions are built in to our regular meetings.

Here are two:

(1) “Swallow the frog” challenge

Challenge:

Each person says one thing that they're slacking on, one thing that they're pushing away, one thing that they know they should be doing but they're not.

Then each person has one week to “swallow the frog”, do the hard thing they fear/procrastinate.

• Contacting that mentor

• Trying that new technology

• Taking 36 hours off social media

• Admitting and fixing a mistake

• Get organized

• Apply for that role

• Set a boundary with a person

• Cutting up that credit card

• Uninstalling an old technology to learn the replacement

• No snacks till 9 P.M. for a week challenge

• Listing 10 positive traits about oneself every morning

• Fasting 24 hours (check with doctor)

• Grow by taking that public speaking or leadership opportunity

• Asking for that coffee chat.

The event starts with everyone sharing one thing that they're struggling with. Everyone opens up with a little bit of vulnerability in turn. Each person in turn chooses an action they'll do that week to address the issue, then they circle back on a two weeks from then to tell the team how the action went.

(2) “Take the heat” challenge

Challenge:

Every two weeks, teams should hold feedback sessions where each member gives an assigned peer two compliments and one criticism.

Goals:

1. Strengthen outcomes by lowering ego-defensiveness of work.

2. Normalize constructive criticism of low performance without harming personal relationships.

3. Bring issues out in the open so gossip is avoided.

Then everyone should check back next week to see how it goes.

• Enduring criticism quietly

  • Normalizing constructive criticism.

  • Rejecting gossip.

  • Using a proper framework

• Rejection therapy

• Doing things that benefit us, that we've been putting off.

  • Networking event

    • Public speaking.

• Asking for help.

• Engaging in debate.

• role-playing an interview

• 24 hour no social media ban

• Rejection rep: Members pursue one intentional “no” weekly, then publicly log one lesson learned.

• Personal accountability challenge:

  • List your goal for this year, this month, this week and this day. To hold yourself accountable.

• Workout Challenge

• Saying 10 good things about yourself every morning when you get up.

When a person is stressed, they have two ways of dealing with that stress. One is to...

Little emphasis is put on eustress vs distress.

In contrast to distress, eustress is the positive stress of life that is both beneficial and necessary for growth. Eustress is a motivator. It's a feeling of excitement before completion. The focus that comes with a challenging project. The drive to meet a deadline. New Stress sharpens focus and enhances performance, leaving a sense of accomplishment. Practice

How today's society derides life's healthy friction.

The concept of behind eustress is simple: stress can lead us to distress or eustress. stress can be positive.

Tradition 1. Give up something that you want.

Tradition 2 Choose to go the extra mile on something

belittles

trivializes

scorns

mocks

scoffs at

dismisses

disparages

minimizes

downplays

underrates

marginalizes

ridicules

spurns

demeans

brushes off

overlooks

ignores

shuns

snubs

vilifies

patronizes

denigrates

shrugs off

plays down

dismisses as trivial

discounts

writes off

rejects

laughs off